Exactly. All this concern about ritual and heaven and priesthood and we lose focus on what’s really important to us: humanity. Of course since I don’t believe in God humanity is all I care about anymore. But even with a traditional belief in God, isn’t God’s first motivation concern for humanity?

By the way, comments came first, this post came second. (We’re talking about this thread at Feminist Mormon Housewives)

A good step forward would be a change in attitude and policy that allowed people in the United States to have a civil ceremony with all of the family there. People in some countries aside from the U.S. can already do this. After the civil ceremony, the couple would be married. The next day, or whenever, the couple could go do that Mormon thing and get their marriage sealed in the temple.

This simple formula could avoid much of the hurt feelings. All that stops the members of the church from doing this is the juvenile attitude among some that a civil marriage somehow degrades a sealing ceremony or shows a lack of commitment to Mormonism.

I think this change is possible. Of course this doesn’t address all of the ways that Mormonism divides families, but its a start in the right direction.

So to me, there’s no point worrying myself about whether anyone agrees with me. If they do, they’ll eventually come this way, if they don’t, as long as they aren’t harming me or my children, let them do as they please

I feel the same way but with special emphasis on “as long as they aren’t harming me or my children”. People can put whatever label they like on themselves and assemble with people who use the same label and think similar things. The libertarian in my draws the line where they start intervening in my affairs (e.g. preventing me from attending my daughters’ possible future weddings) and doing me harm. I feel no urge to be silent when injustice like this happens.

Do you try to “convert” Lacie, so to speak? How does that work in your relationship?

I try to avoid saying “Look at this. Mormonism is so screwed up.” She’s aware of where she can learn the same things I’ve learned if she ever wants to. It’s not my job to force it on her. That would just poison our relationship. In line with what I’ve just said, I speak up if the church interferes inappropriately in our lives or the lives of our children.

I hope things go well with your family. I personally have found that being upfront with my family and asking for their understanding and help changes the tone of things. Personally, I wrote a letter which helped me organize my thoughts. You might want to read How Do I Tell My Wife That I Don’t Believe Anymore? again if you haven’t lately. I found everyone’s comments helpful.