My children don’t have the same type of neighborhood. Their experince will be different. The cleared cache and history folder are tell-tell signs. There’s no way that our children will be denied the magical mystery tour.
]]>Magical mystery tour: I like that. It certainly was a wild, mysterious ride.
It will be different for our children but perhaps more isolated? I wonder what it will be like for them.
BEEHIVE,
I resented how I learned about sex until recently. I thought that my childhood had been ruined by the porn and the experimentation. If only I hadn’t been exposed, I imagined that I could have spent my childhood in proper innocence.
Now I see this all as part of being a child. Many adults don’t like to imagine that children are naturally sexually aware and interested. I constantly heard that I wasn’t supposed to be interested in girls until I was much older, but I can remember being sexually aroused as early as kindergarten (and probably a little earlier) and actively fantasizing at least by second grade.
How and when is different for everyone. I don’t know if it would have been healthier if I had been older before giving expression to my nascent sexuality. Perhaps I was damaged somehow by it, but it doesn’t feel like it anymore. I would go so far as to say I cherish those early experiences.
]]>It sounds like I’m a little conflicted.
]]>I really wish I could remember where I heard or read this. I don’t think it was a figment of my imagination anyways.
]]>Also, it seems like Japanese culture is very stressful. I know that when I’m stressed I’m less interested in sex.
It’s hard to know for sure what’s at the root of this or if this is a valid judgment.
]]>http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/
I will say, it’s not a happy place our culture is going on this issue. I very firmly believe that. Whether you think the suppression approach of the LDS and others is healthy or not, it is not a happy place the porn culture is taking us.
I’d also recommend the feminist book “Pornography and Silence.” Rather chilling book.
]]>On the dressing of children as adults, isn’t that what we’ve been doing for decades (maybe even a century or two)? Maybe you could clarify for me. I did a couple of posts on my blog about clothes and child sexuality (the latter of which was re-posted on fMh). They are indeed difficult issues.
]]>shakes head
Regarding sexual clothing (sorry for the late reply, BTW), for example I mean dressing your first-grader in low-rise jeans or otherwise making them a sexual object à la JonBenét Ramsey.
]]>this was an interesting post that got me thinking about my own childhood…and my children. show me yours was indeed a fond game in childhood. i also remember masturbating at…3? 4? clumsy, and silly, but children are intensely sensual creatures who seek pleasure. i found my dad’s porn cache at 11 or 12 and invited my girlfriends over for a porn-fest. then we took off our clothes and compared development. it’s not discussed much but the few times i’ve ventured to bring up these issues, they do seem to be pretty common experiences. children are sexual and they experiment with pleasure. they’re also fascinated with their bodies and the bodies of others. it’s normal. my children are 3 and 18 months. my son knows all the proper words for parts and he uses them freely. he plays with his penis whenever it’s available and when i change my daughter, she touches her labia and clitoris. it’s especially funny when she bends over to try to see what’s down there. that makes me crack up every time. we just acknowledge it: “yep, that’s your vulva, that’s brother’s penis, those are my breasts,” etc. it doesn’t need to be smothered or celebrated; it just is.
i agree, raunch culture is a problem. i wonder how i’ll raise my children with healthy attitudes about sexuality and acceptance of conservative experimentation against the culture that teaches certain things about men, women, bodies and sex. it’s depressing to consider it.
]]>what, it bothers you when 2-year-old girls are dressed in bikinis? why on earth would such a thing be offensive?
Chandelle, are you being ironic again?
Now that you mention it, I did stumble on a clumsy form of masturbation before I was ten years old. I noticed that if I ran a certain way all the right bits would get rubbed just the right way and it would feel really good. That was probably somewhere around seven or eight years old.
We try to stick to real words for anatomy, too.
]]>