Ritual Violence II
I’m sorry mom. I went and did what I thought good people were supposed to do, and that meant you were not able to go to see me sealed to my wife. Even today when I hold no faith in the temple ceremonies, I feel sealed to my wife. If God is truly compassionate, then he would not separate people who love each other. If he would, then to hell with him. You missed out on the marriage of your first son, and I wish I could make that decision again. You were there when my dad was less then a good person, and then died. You had to show strength that has always impressed me. You were there when the world seemed rough to me, and I left you out of that important day. I’m sorry. (Gunner)
It hurts to hear these stories of ritual violence which I was deaf to back when I was married. To all those excluded by my decision to marry in an LDS temple, I am sorry. It seemed so simple to me then that I was oblivious to how unjust my hurtful actions were. The irony that I may also face this exclusion by those I love most dearly doesn’t escape me.
Tags: bigotry, community, compassion, family, guilt, LDS, love, marriage, Mormonism, ostracism, religion, temple
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November 4, 2007 @ 8:29 pm
I wasn’t oblivious to the pain I caused by excluding other people from my marriage ceremony, but I really felt like I was doing the right thing, and I was willing to make sacrifices to do what I thought was right.
I’m sorry that people were excluded and that they were hurt, but I’m not sorry that I did what I thought was right, even if it meant a difficult road. Even looking back now as a non-believer.
November 4, 2007 @ 8:48 pm
That’s an important point. I knew that it was painful for some people, but chose to ignore that in the service of doing the right thing. To regret my determination to do the right thing would be unhealthy. All I can ever do is try to do what I think is right. The healthy thing seems to be regretting whatever it was that made me believe that excluding people was the right thing to do.