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Let’s Try To Be Realistic

Friday, 4 Apr 2008 at 9:48 am

This video is hilariously honest.

I suppose the honest truth isn’t as poetic as sweet lies.

This just in: most sex therapists surveyed agreed that any sexual intercourse that lasts beyond 13 minutes is excessive.

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9 Comments

  1. Lacey said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 11:08 am

    You’re silly and so is this video.

  2. Lincoln Cannon said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 1:42 pm

    Apparently, then, in the opinion of most sex experts, female orgasms are generally excessive.

  3. Jonathan Blake said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 1:51 pm

    I may be parsing the statement too closely, but I think by “intercourse activity” they meant strictly vaginal penetration, only one possible part of the sexual act. For many women, vaginal penetration doesn’t provide enough stimulation to achieve orgasm no matter how long it continues. So I don’t think orgasm through other means is precluded by limiting vaginal penetration.

    Was that clinical enough? :)

  4. Lincoln Cannon said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 2:05 pm

    That interpretation, at least, would redeem my esteem for most sex experts.

  5. Seth R. said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 6:26 pm

    One of the most useful pieces of advice I got before my wedding night was from my dad.

    “So son, where are you spending your honeymoon?”

    “Well… I dunno… thought maybe we’d go camping…”

    “Camping?!”

    “Well… yeah…”
    (we had no money)

    My dad gave me a look of disgust and said “tell ya what son, you take your wife over to the Homestead Ranch Resort in Heber. I’ll pay.”

    “Ahh gee dad you don’t have to…”

    “Believe me son, there are some things you DON’T want to figure out in a tent.”

  6. Lessie said,

    April 4, 2008 @ 9:03 pm

    Seth R. I’m laughing out loud. And Lincoln, I was with you as far as going, what about her? Doesn’t she get an orgasm to? Oh wait, no she gets to fake one to make him feel better! I hope Jonathan is right in his interpretation. Because otherwise, the song really does speak to reality. I remember as a teen hearing this song about making love all night long and going, “can you really?” And then being surprised by how short the actual experience was once I got married. Anyway, TMI. See y’all in the morning.

  7. Jonathan Blake said,

    April 5, 2008 @ 5:48 am

    Seth,

    Your father was a wise man. :lol:

    Lessie,

    Sex can be— underwhelming after all the hype it gets in movies, music, and culture in general. It’s like the gold standard of pleasure: everything gets compared to it. For example, I’ve heard that meth is “better than sex”.

    I had a bishop when I was a teenager who told my Sunday School class that sex isn’t all that great. We all looked at him like he’d grown a third eye. I’m sure most of us thought that he must just be bad a sex or he was just saying that to keep us from having sex ’cause everyone knows that sex is totally awesome.

    Of course he was right, but he didn’t explain it very well.

  8. chandelle said,

    April 6, 2008 @ 7:26 pm

    i busted up at “i can prob’ly give you seven minutes…if you don’t move around too much,” and laughed continuously until the part about faking an orgasm, at which point i stopped laughing.

    i agree, jon, i think it’s got to be referring solely to actual physical intercourse, in which case, yeah, for most of us, it’s probably got to be less than 20 minutes, maybe 30 on the outside, or it’s going to become uncomfortable and start to feel like, uh, can we get on with it?

    which reminds me of that time my husband tried a new “climax control” condom. he had to take a shower to get the stuff off so we could STOP having sex at some point that night.

    TMI? maybe?

    i suppose if you have a bit of intercourse interspersed with other stuff, like oral sex or a snack or something, then maybe it could last longer. but the whole entire “making love” session could probably last for a few hours altogether; i don’t think i’d count just the actual clinically-defined intercourse to be the sum total of the sexual experience, and hopefully sex auditors don’t, either.

  9. Jonathan Blake said,

    April 7, 2008 @ 12:14 pm

    i busted up at “i can prob’ly give you seven minutes…if you don’t move around too much,” and laughed continuously until the part about faking an orgasm, at which point i stopped laughing.

    Yeah, it took a rather sad turn somewhere in there.

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