Green Oasis

I am grateful for…

1. … a helpful highway patrolman who stopped and lent me a lug wrench to change the flat tire that I had on the way to work.
2. … the color green.
3. … the opportunity to make choices.
4. … a good night’s rest.
5. … the opportunity to be a father.

I am grateful for…

1. … a week spent with my little family.
2. … a week without blogging. (More on that later.)
3. … new clothes in cheering colors.
4. … friends who ask where I went on my week off.
5. … the chance to work for a living.

You may not have noticed. In these posts, I have avoided the mention of negative aspects of the things I am grateful for. It is really easy to fall into the mode of “This thing over here is pretty crappy, but I’m grateful for it because…”. That seems contrary to what I’m trying to achieve: more openness to the good things in my life.

So, I try to never use the word “but” when expressing gratitude. Instead, I focus solely on the parts that I’m thankful for.

1. LDS Church, thank you for introducing me to many good people. There are worse ways to start out in life than being surrounded by people who try hard to do what they see as the right thing and who repeatedly emphasize how important it is to know the truth.
2. Thank you to my employer. I am grateful for the means to consistently put food in front of my family.
3. To my daughters, thank you for teaching me what it means to be a human being.
4. To the authors of Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex, but Were Afraid They’d Ask, thank you for giving me a more reasoned, accepting view of my own sexual development. It’s good to know that I grew up rather typically. I’m sure my daughters will also have reason to thank you in years to come.
5. I am grateful for the chance to get good sleep. For this, I mostly have to thank myself. It’s up to me to make the most of the opportunities I have.

In light of last week’s five, I’ve decided to write thank you notes when appropriate.

1. My daughters, thank you for forgiving me when I make mistakes as a parent. Your lenience gives me the space necessary to make an attempt to improve.
2. My wife, thank you for being patient when I don’t listen enough. Your patience shows me how committed you are to our marriage, to me.
3. Jon Kabat-Zinn, thank you for your guidance in making the most of the life that I have.
4. Nevada State Legislature, thank you for doing the right thing, making Nevada a more just place for everyone to live.
5. Life, thank you for your little reminders (i.e. pain and suffering) that keep me on track.

Can you tell I’ve had a down week?

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.—Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Before I get down to the usual business, I want to respond to this idea because I’ve heard it several times in various places. I feel and express gratitude all the time. Since losing my belief in God, I haven’t been at a loss for people to thank.

I’m thankful to my parents for giving me life (and to their parents who gave them life, and so on).

I’m grateful for my wife who threw her lot in with me and risked her life to bear and raise children with me.

I’m grateful for all the innovators in science, technology, and the arts who have made my modern life of relative health, comfort, and ease possible.

I’m grateful for the groundskeepers who provide the uplifting environs where I work.

Even when I can’t find a person to thank for something (e.g. the warming light of the sun or the naked fact of our existence), I don’t miss being able to thank someone. I feel grateful—and incredibly fortunate—just the same.

This sense of gratitude without someone to thank may represent an improvement: I no longer suffer the temptation to imagine that I deserve the good things I enjoy by being faithful to God. And if I don’t deserve what I have, then all the more reason to share it with those who deserve it just as much as I.

With all due respect to Mr. Rossetti, he should have avoided offering witticisms about something that he apparently lacks experience of.

Oh, and by my count, that’s five things plus one.