Green Oasis

Well, I’ve been blathering on for a year now. Happy First Blogiversary to me! I wonder if I should start celebrating unblogiversaries.

I’m not in much of a retrospective mood (which gets me off the hook of reading back over 212 posts), but in reading my very first post I ask myself whether I made the right decision a year ago. Did I do the right thing in leaving the church?

We lay aside the expectation of a particular result,
and do the right thing because it is right.
We do our duty, we stand and fight.
We do not do so without profound compassion for others.
(Krishna to Arjuna, Bhagavad Gita)

Without question, the past year has seen a lot of growth for me. I believe that I’m a better person for having made the choice that I did. I only regret any turmoil and suffering my actions caused and secondly that I didn’t see my way to do it sooner. C’est la vie. Forgiveness is letting go of the hope of a better past.

I echo this sentiment again:

Others may say that I allowed myself to be seduced by falsehoods. It feels more like I was seduced by the truth. Letting go of the bogeymen in my head led me to greater peace, greater clarity, more happiness, and more power to do good. This change of heart is delicious to me.

Instead of looking back over my shoulder, I’d much rather look prospectively. I hope the future will see me continue to gradually wean myself of concerns about Mormonism and religion. I love to learn things. I would like to move on to subjects that I have neglected because of the time and effort I have put into religion in my life. I know enough about religion to satisfy me for a while. Let me devote more of my time to other things. Yet I have a desire to show others what I have found, especially my children. Maybe I need to set down my thoughts on the subject and close the case for a while.

Let’s see what the future brings.

I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while, just never got around to it. I see a primary audience for this blog to be my posterity. It’s an online journal for the thoughts that I hope to share with them. This will often lead me to knowingly do things that are probably not the best to attract readers. Things like erratic posting styles and subjects, long dissertations on Mormon apologetics, making many updates to a post causing some feed readers to list multiple small revisions, etc. I realize that these might be annoying, but I’m trying to serve two masters. I enjoy the thoughts that others share here which help to enrich the offering. Just know that you’re not the only ones I’m talking to, and please forgive the annoyances.

One thing I regret about the blog format is that I set the direction for discussion. I want people to have more power to bring up topics on their own and challenge me to face ideas that I haven’t considered. I wanted to have an email discussion group associated with this blog (at the very least Green Oasis Discussion lent itself to an awesome, ironic acronym), but lack of participation has dampened my grandiose plans. Maybe someday…

In the meantime, I’ve now provided a way to contact me on the sidebar. Messages can be sent completely anonymously if that’s what you want. Acceptable messages include (but aren’t limited to):

• Hate mail
• Recipes
• Offers for penis enlargement devices
• Love notes
• Directions to buried treasure
• Job offers (please include salary range)
• Confessions of your darkest secrets
• Request for technical support
• Links to websites that I must see
• Topics for discussion
• …

If appropriate, I’ll post about your message.

Or, if you like, you could send a message to GOD instead.

Have it your way!

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
(Hebrews 4:12)

I hope that you have read all of my story. This is the point where I change modes. My focus will shift from building bridges of understanding between us to building a bridge of personal understanding between me and the truth behind all things. I want to understand life, the universe, and everything. That’s a large task and time’s a wastin’—I’m not getting any younger.

This is where I unleash my hardly restrained missionary zeal. I will seek to speak through love and respect, but I will not, however, shy away from truths that may offend. As a more specific warning, I will not spare the teachings of the LDS Church or any other religious body from all due, respectful scrutiny. In fairness, if I find my own beliefs to be wrong, I will not hesitate to change them. I’ve done it before.

I want to think dangerous thoughts. I wish to lay all things as a sacrifice on the altar of truth. The truth is delicious. The truth is freedom, light, life, and joy. I will treasure up every scrap of it that I can find. How we confront the truth says a lot about who we are. The truth is indeed a sword poised to divide us asunder, “a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart”. I hope that the pursuit of truth brings us together, but I understand that some may wish to stop reading at this point.

Please stay.

I hope to have an open and honest discussion, and I can’t do it without you. At least not without being mistaken for mentally ill.

There are tons of books that I’d like to read, so it feels natural to make this something of a book club where we can read and discuss books on a wide range of topics. I’ve collected some books that I’m interested in reading, and started on the book that interests me most at the moment (which I will introduce soon).

Please stay here with me and make this an oasis flourishing around the fountain of truth.